What $3,200 rents you in SF right now

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person’s studio another person’s townhouse? Today’s price: $3,200.

This in-law apartment in Noe Valley is a mostly humble affair; small kitchenette, the same brown carpets throughout, views of a backyard that’s mostly bare in the photos provided. But the landlord claims that “the unit is being refreshed now,” and while there’s no telling what that might look like there’s at least some opportunity to mull over the possibilities now. It’s a one bed, one bath unit—the ad says the whole place “consists of two rooms” but this doesn’t seem to include the bathroom—and 600 square feet. Apparently there are no cats allowed, but dogs are acceptable with extra deposit. The apartment will run you $3,200 every month.

Whereas up in Pacific Heights we get a home that’s almost the inverse of the former in every way. Rather than the ground floor, this “large Art Deco apartment” on Jackson overlooks the street and the crest of a hill that provides some nice bay views just up the block. Rather than homey and humble, this place aims for it’s own vibe of grandeur, including the charmingly ostentatious lobby downstairs. It’s also a studio rather than a full apartment. And in the final reversal, no dogs are allowed here but cats are okay. The one thing both homes have in common is, perhaps unfortunately, the price, which is also $3,200 per month.

This one-bath micro-unit in SoMa comes in at a very tight 475 square feet and offers floor-to-ceiling windows, “pristine tile”, “luxurious stone,” and among the building amenities is a Zen garden for tenants. Perhaps that Zen-like state will help renters keep their cool about the $3,195 rent, although in truth a lot of renters are more likely to find inner peace in the fact that the building allows pets.

In Ingleside, this “spacious, brand new two-bedroom, one-bath” apartment can be found just a few blocks from the Balboa Park BART Station and immediately adjacent to Community College of San Francisco. And apparently they really do mean brand new; whoever moves in now will be the inaugural tenant. If you needed any extra corroboration on that fact, just take a look at those gray-stained plank floors—nothing says 21st-century San Francisco construction louder or more distinctly. (Oddly enough, the ad also mentions “new paint throughout the entire unit,” which presumably must be true if there was previously nothing to paint.) It’s $3,150 per month. No pets allowed.

Last up, the Haight promises a “great location and unit” on Waller Street just a block off of Ashbury, where a one-bed, one-bath, 750-square-foot apartment is also $3,150 per month. The ad promises “brand new oak floors,” oversized windows, shared garden, and even an “office nook,” but unfortunately no pets.