What $2,300 rents you in San Francisco right now

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person’s studio is another person’s townhouse? Today’s price: $2,300.

↑ Sometimes even home listings can have identity crises, as in the case of this one-bath Harriet Street studio that claims to be located “near Mission/Financial/Embarcadero,” a somewhat confusing jumble of locales given that it’s clearly in SoMa, as evidenced principally by the name of the building: SoMa Studios, a 23-unit micro homes building from 2013. In our continuous quest to find the smallest SF living spaces that can still suitably function as homes, this one measures out to a mere 295 square feet, along with nine-foot ceilings to help forego claustrophobia. Unfortunately, that doesn’t leave much room for photography and most of the images are hard to translate; rents “start from $2,300/month, depending on location.” The ad doesn’t say whether pets are allowed, although at some point you have to wonder where you’d put them.

↑ Here’s a Portola apartment that’s got other business to attend to, it seems, as the ad consists entirely of sixteen words, among them: “two bedroom, one living room, large bathroom, max two people,” and also, sadly, “no pets.” It looks distinctly like an in-law but the ad fails to specify. It comes decked out with a the spearmint and lavender paint palette that is distinctive if nothing else. The price is $2,300/month.

↑ To be honest, this one-bed, one-bath Sunset apartment on Taraval, while perfectly fine, isn’t much of a standout. Except perhaps in one way: The landlord thought to put the phrase “dog-friendly” in the headline, and indeed, right at the front of it, which in San Francisco is wise marketing. “Unit has been renovated with refinished hardwood flooring, double-pane windows, and [updated] bathroom,” according to the pitch, which also notes that the canine-friendly deal is only friendly to dogs under 30 pounds, so bad news for Antonolian Shepherd enthusiasts. The rent is $2,300/month either way.

↑ Not to be outclassed, here’s a Tenderloin one-bath studio that specifies “pets are welcome” and is the sole redoubt for cat lovers on this slate. This is actually pretty standard for the Tenderloin, as is the circa-1916 building’s distinctive Art Deco lobby, although in this case it looks like said space might have been redesigned over the years, resulting in a contemporary set-up that looks like a space alien tried to design a post office. Still, at least it’s distinctive. The deal is $2,195/month.

↑ Finally, here’s a one-bath NoPa apartment that promises would-be renters an “SF experience,” and paying $2,195/month for a studio does indeed fall squarely and pointedly under that heading. This place does feature some rich looking woodwork, including the hearth around the fireplace (which is decorative), and the ad boasts that it’s both “remodeled” but sporting “original details” by turns. No pets allowed here. Alas.