What $5,250 rents you in San Francisco right now

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person’s studio is another person’s townhouse? Today’s price: $5,250.

↑ There’s no such thing as having it all, but this ad for a three-bed, two-bath Potrero Hill condo would like potential renters to think so anyway. “A Victorian Queen Anne with high ceilings?” Check. “Hardwood floor, granite and marble?” Check. Garden out back? Got that too. The place even allows pets, although the ad does note that “breed restrictions may apply.” There’s always something. Perhaps most intriguing, the landlords claim that this block of Potrero Avenue is “located in the sunniest part of San Francisco.” With summer heatwaves on the horizon that might not always sound like a plus, but it’s an ideal microclimate claim nevertheless. What’s not micro here is the price: $5,200/month.

↑ Speaking of having everything, whereas the aforementioned Vic asks renters to split the place with a second unit, this Bernal Heights house goes all in on the entire three-bed, one-and-a-half-bath structure for $5,250/month. In fact, the landlords advertise this one as a “new fully detached home,” although a quick look at Google reveals that the same facade has been in place on Holladay Avenue for years, and the most recent permits just cover some interior alterations. New or old, the offer includes “granite counters and tile floors,” “hardwood,” “high ceilings,” and “backyard all to yourself.” No word on pets.

↑ This NoPa apartment presents something of a space puzzle. Described in the ad as a “cottage,” a term designed to make potential tenants picture something pleasant small, the ad still pegs the home at a whopping four bedrooms and one bath. But keep in mind that it also ekes out those four rooms from just 650 square feet of space. This it manages, in part, because one of the advertised bedrooms “is a sunroom, five by 19 feet.” Does anything better exemplify SF’s rent crunch than the notion of a roommate trying to spread out and make a sunroom into a genuine functional bedroom? Other than paying $5,200/month for it, that is. “Cute home, remodeled, furnished,” says the ad, but no word on pets here.

↑ If natural light is a plus, you could do worse than a top-floor corner unit “penthouse” on Tennessee Street in Dogpatch, inside a converted circa-1926 building still sporting the old bricks that once exemplified SF’s industrial side. But the insides are purely contemporary, stocked with two-bed, two-bath “luxury” homes boasting “12-foot pop-out ceilings, floor-to-ceiling windows,” and “terrace with city and bay views.” It also comes with the elevated price of $5,200/month, but again, mum’s the word on whether or not modern Dogpatch living includes actual dogs or cats.

↑ In closing, there’s the Beacon, another South Beach condo offering (this one dating to 2004) with a similarly arranged two-bed, tw- bath home that’s squarely within contemporary condo style for $5,250/month. A corner unit as well, it’s laden with “cherry floors across entire apartment,” “granite countertops,” and Google Fiber internet. Plus, not only does the ad unambiguously permit pets, but the building even boasts an indoor dog park as part of the amenities package.