What $3,300 rents you in San Francisco right now

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person’s studio is another person’s townhouse? Today’s price: $3,300.

↑ Alarming though it may be to ponder, $3,300/month for a one-bed, one-bath apartment actually seems on the affordable side for a place in Lower Pac Heights. So much so, in fact, that the owners of this Pine Street space assure renters that the ad is “not a scam.” The catch is that the unit measures only 350 square feet from end to end, and is actually qualified as a junior one-bed apartment. The ad also talks up the bamboo floors and the “professional Feng Shui interior,” although the thing most likely to make positive energy flow is the fact that the apartment allows both cats and dogs.

↑ This Inner Richmond apartment on Ninth Avenue is going the minimal distance to underbid the competition at $3,299/month—don’t spend the remainder all in one place. Actually, the real bargain potential here is that it’s a two-bed, one-bath apartment off Geary Boulevard, where the property managers talk up the proximity to “Golden Gate Park, the Presidio, and the public Presidio Golf courses a few blocks away.” The wood fireplace still works, and although the sole patch of brick in the kitchen looks out of place, its weathered quality does add a bit of pop to the interiors. No pets allowed, though.

↑ As always, promises of “newly remodeled” homes are a dime a dozen on Craigslist, although an actual dime won’t buy you even a minute of residency in most of these places, particularly here in the Mission. In the case of 3440 20th Street, this circa-1965 home really looks like it’s had some fairly extensive work done lately. The fruit of all that is a one-bed and one-bath apartment for $3,295/month. Pets are allowed as long as renters come up with an extra $75/month per pet when rent time rolls around.

↑ This little white Noe Valley Victorian on Elizabeth Street of indeterminate age (the city dates it to 1900, which is usually a placeholder for homes whose records no longer exist after the Great Quake) is still hanging in there as a triplex, presenting a one-bed, one-bath apartment with the promise of “private deck and access to a lovely backyard filled with palms and a lemon tree” behind a “spacious kitchen and comfortable living room,” along with heaps of “privacy.” Maybe that’s a nod to the number of SF renters these days who must split a room with roommates. Rent comes to $3,250/month. And despite the yard space, no pets are allowed.

↑ And finally, here’s another two bed, one bath apartment advertised as a “garden unit on ground floor in a beautiful Victorian.” Note that this listing seems to be a bit lost, dubbing itself “NOPA!” but indicating on Google Maps that it’s actually well south of the panhandle on Page Street and simply part of the Haight instead. Wherever it is, the price is $3,200/month; the ad doesn’t mention whether pets are allowed or precisely what’s going on with those floors, so there are some mysteries yet to be resolved at the open house.