What $2,600 rents you in San Francisco right now

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person’s studio is another person’s townhouse? Today’s price: $2,600.

↑ This apartment atop a 1904 Cole Valley Victorian bills itself as a “large vintage studio,” an intriguing choice of words based on the ambiguity of what “vintage” means in this context. Maybe in this case it just means the absence of any of the usual R-words—”remodel” and “renovate”—or perhaps it’s a nod to some of the non-contemporary features like the claw tub or “folding glass panel french doors framed by elegant columns” that always seem to go over well on Craigslist. The $2,550/month price tag, on the other hand, is entirely modern. The ad doesn’t mention whether or not the place accommodates pets.

↑ Rather than vintage, this alleged junior one-bed, one-bath, sixth-floor apartment in the Tenderloin’s Hamilton building wants renters to consider it “updated.” Although from the photos provided, it’s hard to tell. Indeed, it has the familiar look of a Hamilton apartment, as they’ve often appeared in Curbed columns, right down to the signature coffin-shaped doorway and pentagonal recessed nook. But a junior one-bed is is not—the bedroom is, in fact, the nook. Pretty sneaky. The offer is $2,575/month and no pets allowed.

↑ Here’s a one-bedroom, one-bath apartment in the Inner Richmond off Geary that wants the world to know it’s both “remodeled” and “cozy” (that is to say, 475 square feet top to bottom), though the ad only specifically mentions a remodel in the kitchen, featuring “granite counter tops and beautiful cabinets.” The bed and bath are both upstairs, the ad directing potential renters to “enter the bedroom and notice its cabin like features.” Truth be known those might be generous terms, but the unexpected bedroom fireplace is admittedly neat (if out of place). The deal here: $2,600/month, no pets—“unless it’s a service animal.” By the way, no fair cheating on the service animal thing, which does a disservice to everyone else.

↑ And now it’s time for a game of the incredible shrinking apartment, as home offerings at this price point start getting smaller and smaller. Here in the Mission a “beautiful garden house” weighs in at just 450 square feet and asks $2,600/month. The space offersoak floors, granite counters, triple skylights, and “full access to backyard garden.” The ad is mum about pets, but that’s renting in SF for you.

↑ Finally, here’s the skinny on the skinniest offer of all, a Bernal Heights apartment that’s a mere 375 square feet but still manages to fit in a full bedroom, bath, and in a refreshing break, even room for cats. The ad calls the space “great for the person seeking privacy and a sunny space.” The price of privacy: $2,575/month.