What $4,100 rents you in San Francisco right now

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person’s studio is another person’s townhouse? Today’s price: $4,100.

↑ The ad wants potential renters to think that this one-bed, one-bath, 905-square-foot South Beach apartment “has the feel of a New York City loft,” which seems a dicey approach when it comes to San Francisco renters. After all, most San Franciscans are probably choosing not to live in New York City on purpose. Even so, the promise of “soaring exposed concrete ceilings and pillars, tall windows, [and] landscaped views from living areas and San Francisco Bay” may appeal to renters of either coastal persuasion, assuming they can put up the necessary $4,100/month that this One Federal Street loft now demands. Note that the NYC vibes come packed with a no-pets-allowed rider.

↑ Speaking of homages to other cities, rarely does Little Hollywood—one of San Francisco’s smallest, most obscure, and most endearing neighborhoods—offer much by way of rental stock, largely because there are only so many homes in the half-size ’hood. Here a three-bed, two-and-a-half-bath condo next to Bayview Hill Park gets it closeup to the tune of $4,100/month, promising “an amazing layout with 3 bedrooms on the top level and large living/dining room combined.” As another Hollywood perk, both cats and dogs are permitted onset.

↑ Meanwhile, this Pacific Heights apartment promises that it’s “located in a trophy building,” in this case the circa-1913 building at 1899 California, one block south of Lafayette Park. Dubbed a “Pacific Heights penthouse,” the one-bed, one-bath apartment runs $3,995/month and pushes the appeal of its private roof deck, “your own private patio with fantastic city views from every angle.” The only angle that’s not included is one on cat and dog owners, who are again on the outs here.

↑ Despite the Pacific Heights pedigree, it’s possible that this Nob Hill apartment (erroneously dubbed “Russian Hill” in the ad) might have monopolized the entire board in terms of sheer class. “Bright, sunny, carpeted, spacious with kitchen and dining rooms” the landlord promises, set in a Clay Street building that, according to city records, dates to 1988. The rent is either $4,000/month or $3,950/month—the ad has it both ways—but once again, neither price is apparently enough to buy pet owners access to the home.

↑ Finally, the only honest, real house up for offer on the slate this week is a two-bed, one-bath single-family home in Glen Park. However, since this abode sits south of the freeway, it’s more accurate to call it a Mission Terrace home, but being in skipping distance of the Glen Park BART Station gives it permission to cheat a bit. The ad promises “beautiful French doors,” a 700-square-foot garage, and privacy for the price of $3,950/month. And “pets considered with additional deposit.” Sometimes consideration is all anyone can hope for.