What $2,200 rents you in San Francisco right now

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person’s studio is another person’s townhouse? Today’s price: $2,200.

↑ Shameless marketing exaggerations are the bread and butter of Craigslist rental marketing, so in truth terms like “small but adequate living area” when it comes to places like this in-law studio in Portola, located a few blocks from McLaren Park, are rather refreshing. The ad touts the finished wood ‘boat-like’ ladder leading to a queen size carpeted sleeping loft,” although “boat-like” in this case just seems to mean wide. The space also comes with a warning that “you cannot stand in the loft.” (There’s been a lot of that going around in Comparisons lately.) The deal is $2,100/month and the landlord “will consider a cat,” which is at least considerate.

↑ Sometimes a home has trouble deciding what it wants to be. In this case we get an ad for a Lower Nob Hill apartment that’s dubbed a “HUGE studio” (caps in original), but the actual specs are only 400 square feet. Maybe that’s huge relative to certain expectations? The ad also calls the listing a studio/one bedroom, which is confusing. (Photos break the tie and reveal that it’s a studio after all.) But one thing’s for sure: There’s plenty of closet space. “Equipped with 5 separate closets, I guarantee you would love them,” the current lease holder writes. It’s $2,050/month—or $410 per closet—but no pets allowed.

↑ Meanwhile, this one-bed, one-bath apartment in the Inner Richmond apartment cuts straight to the chase and consists almost entirely of a running list of features: “New hardwood floor, new kitchen cabinetry and appliance, granite counter top, new bathroom fixtures, high ceiling, crown moldings, skylight,” and, possibly, a partridge and pear tree. Note that the photos date to 2015, meaning either that they don’t reflect the current renovation or else the new elements actually have a couple of years on them at this point—but who’s counting? It’s $2,195/month. No word on whether or not pets can come along.

↑ Old apartment buildings with pink paint jobs is something of a leitmotif in San Francisco’s rental market. In this case, it’s the circa-1929 building at 123 Sanchez in Duboce Triangle (called “the Castro” in the ad). The pitch for this studio includes “separate eat-in kitchen, large living room with three west-facing windows and a walk-in closet with built-in dresser,” but while the ad leans on the building’s proximity to the Castro the headline is sure to mention that it’s “near tech bus stops.” It’s $2,200/month, “please no pets.”

↑ And finally, near the edge of Noe Valley in the shadow of Twin Peaks a top-floor studio on Elizabeth Street also goes for $2,200/month. The ad promises views, a remodeled kitchen, “private deck with French doors to living space,” and the bathroom is quite a looker, but no pets are allowed. The ad also specifies, “must be a quiet tenant.”