What $8,000 rents you in San Francisco right now

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person's studio another person's townhouse? Let's find out. Today's price: $8,000.

↑ Yes, San Franciscans rent homes for $8,000/month. Believe it. For example, here’s one in Nob Hill, a three-bedroom, two-bath penthouse apartment near Mason and Powell. It’s a pretty place and it shows off the views, the hardwood, the granite counters, and—perhaps most importantly—the positive pet policy. But is it really that much nicer or better located than similar San Francisco apartments renting for half the price? Maybe it’s a classic case of reach exceeding grasp, or maybe this landlord knows something we don’t. Note: This pad only rents for $8,000/month if renters pays 12 months up front. Month to month it’s another $250. Yow.

↑ Now, here’s a place in Russian Hill that does a little extra to look the part. True, it’s not prudent to judge the quality of a home from the decor. But for $7,950/month, chandeliers in the bathrooms seem like a given. This is a four-bed, two-and-a-half bath flat. (Note that one of the bedrooms is dubbed a “petite bonus room”; make of that what you will.) The ad claims this price is a “holiday special,” so who knows what it’s worth in the regular season. Anyone living here presumably does have much to be thankful for and at least an abiding reason for goodwill toward human beings. The lease returns the favor with goodwill toward pets too.

↑ Speaking of working to look the part, this house billed as a “beautiful mansion in the heart of Pacific Heights” pours it on in the photos with the statuary and tapestries, but note that the place does come furnished, so that’s not just window dressing. The atrium windows, stained glass, and gorgeous garden provide more in the way of bones for the offer. “This charming house has hardwood, carpets and five fireplaces” between its three beds and two and a half baths, claims the ad. It’s also got an un-thrifty $7,800/month asking price and no word on pets, although the proximity to Lafayette Park leaves one to hope.

Minesweeper

↑ Of course, a price point like this can’t help but climb to the highest reaches of South Beach condo spires. In this case a two-bed, two-bath home in one of the Lumina towers asks $7,950/month. “Lumina is the epitome of refined urban living” the ad boasts, and while that’s a matter of opinion, those willing to pay the topmost top dollar to live there evidently agree. But is this a nicer place than, say, the other two-bedroom Lumina condo that rented for just $5,600/month in 2016? Or is that price a pipe dream these days? Also, not only does this place allow pets, the building even has a pet salon.

↑ Finally, here’s one a tad more down to earth (in scale if not necessarily in financial matters), a “darling Cow Hollow house” packing four bedrooms and one and a half baths for $7,950/month, which, thanks to the advertised 2,222 square foot space, is the most cost-efficient offer of the lot. “Spacious formal living, dining room, kitchen with breakfast nook, decorative fireplace, two light-filled bedrooms with excellent southern exposure, and remodeled marble bathrooms.” No dogs allowed, but cats are okay.