What $4,000 rents you in San Francisco right now

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person's studio another person's townhouse? Let's find out. Today's price: $4,000.

↑ This Bayview house on Hudson Avenue is a beauty and a half. Although the red accents and bright yellow paintjob on the facade and interior rooms give one pause—the color palette ends up suggesting a circus tent—the main room, with its high trapezoidal ceiling and glistening windows, has a sense of inspiration. It’s a three-bed, one-bath affair renting for $3,999 that promises “two sunny master bedroom[s],” which is, of course, impossible but extra points for trying. No pets allowed, though.

↑ Speaking of true beauty, the case of this Noe Valley flat makes for something to behold. Normally the phrase “magical backyard” in any housing ad should inspire unyielding cynicism; if it doesn’t have a unicorn or a doorway to Narnia, it’s borderline false advertising. In this instance, however, the yard really does push a classical vibe surprisingly hard and surprisingly well. Speaking of classics, get a load of the wallpaper and the low-hanging chandeliers. The price is also $3,999, with no mention of pets. The ad specifies the place is rent controlled, which is perhaps a special kind of magic on its own.

↑ If the yellow building at 1930 Mission looks familiar, even to non-Mission residents, it’s probably because it made headlines this year as the new home of those French nuns and their soup kitchen, previously driven out of their longtime Tenderloin locale by a catastrophic rent increase on a space that, notably, has remained vacant ever since. Incoming renters can rest assured that at least some of their new neighbors are personable folk who take an active interest in the community. The apartment itself is a two-bed, one-bath condo for $3,900 immediately next to BART. Can’t beat that for location, but there’s no pets allowed; charity stays downstairs, it seems.

↑ Is there anywhere in the city a pet lover can hope to rent? As it turns out, yes—at least in Bernal Heights, where this Bronte Street apartment cheerfully identifies itself as partial to cats and dogs as well as human renters. Tenants and their four legged roommates will be splitting two beds plus one and a half baths with dual fireplaces for $4,000. Try to keep the cat off those chandeliers, though.

↑ And finally, one last looker, this one in Potrero Hill, where a two-bed, two-bath apartment on the top floor of a Rhode Island Street Vic goes for $4,000. The ad promises both “recently upgraded with modern appliances and fixtures,” but also “an eye for preserving its Victorian feel.” Renters can judge for themselves how well they pulled off the balancing act.