What $13,500 rents you in San Francisco right now

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person's studio is another person's townhouse? Today's price: $13,500. Brace.

↑ Only a handful of renters have both the means and the desire to rent a home that costs $13,500 per month. And some of these borders border on absurd. Still, it might be worth looking at them if only to ponder their mere existence. Take, for example, the case of this Queen Anne Victorian in the Haight. “Built in 1904, this spacious family home has beautiful woodwork, leaded glass windows and period detailing,” says the ad. The entire abode comes out to five bedrooms and four and a half baths. It even allows dogs and cats. Maybe some people really can have it all?

↑ It’s not surprising that condos in the Millennium Tower are still renting in spite of bad press. But $13,500/month for two bedrooms and three baths is a brazen offer all things considered. Note that the ad says there’s an option to treat the library (yes, this condo has its own library) as a third bedroom via the use of a Murphy bed, the same fold-down hideaway bit of furniture you’ll find making room in Tenderloin studios. The ad doesn’t mention whether or not it allows pets.

↑ Why, of course there’s an entire Victorian home renting for $13,500 per month in Pacific Heights. The city dates this three-bedroom, two-and-a-half-bath house, located on Washington next to Alta Plaza Park, to 1900. Note that one of the bathrooms is a Jack and Jill bath, situated between two of the bedrooms and accessible from each. The master bedroom has its own deck, the dining room its own fireplace, and the two-car garage is bigger than most city apartments. Pets are “negotiable.”

↑ But for sheer scale of home for $13,500 per month, this Cole Valley house has room to spare. Four bedrooms and a four and a half baths scale five stories (although the ground floor consists only of a single “bonus room” that provides access to the backyard). The whole structure clocks in at 3,850 feet. Even that aforementioned bonus room is 600 square feet on its own. Which is to say, that’s a lot of house. The place also comes with an elevator—a necessity since the kitchen is located on the fourth floor. Pets negotiable here too, but be careful they don’t get lost somewhere in all of that space.

↑ And yet, amazingly, there is one house in the Outer Sunset that’s even bigger for the same price. It’s also the youngest home on the list. “Built from the ground-up in 2017 and has never been lived in,” says the ad for this colossal six-bed, five-bath, 4,100-square-foot, three-story juggernaut. “This home is a rare rental” leasing agent Erin Thompson says in the ad. Well, it would have to be. Pets are fine here too; money really does open a lot of doors in San Francisco, including doggy doors.