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Curbed Comparisons: What $5,600/Month Rents You In San Francisco Right Now

We've got the listings if you've got the time. Which of these looks like a winner?

Welcome back to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different neighborhoods. Is one person's studio another person's townhouse? Let's find out. Our price: $5,600/month.

↑ When is a Haight Victorian listing not a Haight Victorian listing? When the house being offered isn't the Vic, but rather the Vic's backyard carriage house. This is essentially just an in-law, but with a historical twist, as the structure that was originally a garage for the horse and buggy set stuck around for all these years and has now been converted into a separate home. It's not nearly as pretty as the main house, but it's a whopping three beds, two baths, and 1,700 feet. (How many carriages did these people own?) At an oddly priced $5,616/month it's a little over the mark, but we're waving it in anyway. No pets allowed, despite the equestrian legacy.

↑ Second on the block is a house in Glen Park with a few surprises. While its sedate blue stucco exterior and central living space look perfectly respectable, what in the world is going on with the kitchen? The tile looks like a mosaic artist's rendition of old TV static. The bathroom will probably take you off guard too—spearmint green from wall to wall, the tile included. Well, it's not boring, that's for sure. The entire place is three beds and two baths for $5,600/month on the dot. Cats and dogs are allowed.

↑ If surprising color palettes aren't your thing, consider a two-bed, two-bath, 1,200-square-foot condo at Lumina, the week's requisite South Beach offering. This place has taken the concept of neutral colors to a completely new dimension, looking as spotless and monochromatic as a Stanley Kubrick movie. What we have here is what you'd call an inescapably white interior. If you've perused Lumina ads before you know what to expect: Ceasarstone counters, floor to ceiling windows, and amenities like a private dining hall for residents. It comes in at $5,600/month, and pets are not only allowed but provided with a grooming station in the building. Swank.

↑ You might have wandered into the Gateway Apartments while visiting the Embarcadero or the nearby Sydney Walton Square on Jackson Street—that assembly of buildings featuring elevated terraces and brick courtyards. A two-bed, two-bath apartment there is just over our mark at $5,616/month, but we'll wave it through anyway. The unit is classy enough, but the principle appeal here is the Embarcadero location, right next to the waterfront, several overlapping parks, the Ferry Building, the Exploratorium, and downtown. No pets, though.

↑ Last up, this house in the Western Addition, which packs three beds and two baths into over 1,500 feet for the full $5,600/month. This is in the middle of a gated collection of town homes on Eddy Street, right next to Jefferson Square Park, advertised as "almost new." (City records say the building dates to 2007, so use your own judgment on that.) No pet policy is mentioned, so maybe just cross your fingers?