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Curbed Comparisons: What $9,000 rents you in San Francisco right now

Alamo Square, the Haight, West Portal, Yerba Buena—choose wisely

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a regular column exploring what you can rent for a set dollar amount in different San Francisco neighborhoods. Is one person's penthouse another person's mansion? Let's find out. Today's price: $9,000.

If one decides to throw down a jarring $9,000 on rent in San Francisco, then lucky them for having the gods of disposable income shine down on them so brightly. And with that, let’s start in the Haight with a top-floor unit, which is tenuously being billed as a "penthouse." (Stretch to use the term for the upper floor inside a four-unit Edwardian.) This place comes with three beds, one and a half baths, 2550 square feet, a master suite with freestanding oval soaker tub, in-unit washer-dryer, and a Parisian-style loft (aka, a renovated attic) that could double as an extra bedroom.

Over in Yerba Buena we find an inarguably luxe two-bed unit inside the St. Regis tower. Fancy, to say the least. Unfurnished, to one’s surprise. For a cool $9000 a month, one would hope for at least a chaise. Alas. Anyway, this contemporary unit comes with two and a half baths, 1,670 square feet, valet parking, 24-hour concierge, marble accents in the loo, electric shades on the windows, and all of the five-star amenities that are provided for the structure’s hotel (spa, pool, 24-hour room service).

Should you need a bigger space for you and your brood, West Portal, one of the city’s woefully underrated neighborhoods, offers a three-level home for $8,950/month. Coming in at five beds, four and a half baths, and a roomy 4,000 square feet, this rental has a formal dining room, wood-burning fireplace, marble loos, landscaped patio, hardwood floors, and more. The bathrooms and kitchen look like late ’80s/early ’90s throwbacks, should that be an issue. What’s not an issue are those gorgeous arched windows and stunning facade. Lovely.

And finally, we head over to Alamo Square for this unabashed beauty that calls out like a siren song to your purse strings. This Queen Anne offers five bedrooms ("each the size of large studios," says the ad), two baths (with bidets!), and a large shared deck. You’ll have the upper floor. A pretty place for a pretty penny—$8995 to be exact.