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There Was Actual Real Estate Porn On This Week's 'Million Dollar Listing' SF

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This week's Million Dollar Listing brought a set of the best properties showcased yet, from a familiar renovated Cole Valley firehouse over to a sprawling $20 million Tiburon estate. The Cole Valley condo listing belonged to Justin, and it was being sold by Leslie Bahr, its designer and owner. The property is one that we know well from its time on the market over the past year. In real life, it went up for sale last October asking $3 million, left the market without selling, and reappeared in the spring with a tiny little $5,000 price cut. On the show, it just lists for $2.995 million. The condo, which is part of former Engine #40, is truly one of a kind, but it also has an utterly bizarre layout, with different rooms perched on different levels and sub-levels all over the place. Of course, Justin wastes no time in testing out the fire pole that runs from floor to floor.

Justin markets the place in signature Justin style, with a party teeming with servers half-dressed as sexy firemen and firewomen. Although he draws a crowd, most of the potential buyers are unimpressed by the odd layout and lack of an elevator. Buyers can't picture themselves living there, seller Leslie refuses to lower the price, and everything is at an impasse at the close of the show.

This week Andrew is over in Tiburon working on a seriously impressive listing. It's the home of venture capitalist Alison Davis, who actually appears on the show, and her husband Matthew Le Merle. We can't dig up a listing for this property in real life, but on the show it is stunning, with six terraces, a vineyard, hiking paths, a basketball court, a greenhouse, beehives, and an orchard with nine different types of fruit. The couple purchased the property back in 1996 for $1.3 million and have raised a family there. However, the family is now part of that problem. Alison explains that her 20-year-old son Louis is interested in real estate and will be managing the listing for the family. Andrew and Louis, not surprisingly, do not get along.

Louis has a broken jaw for much of the episode, leading to some entertaining Andrew impressions of his nemesis' altered speech. Andrew, however, must put up with Louis because the property is worth $20 million, making it the biggest listing of his life. Louis also insists on holding a big fancy party to show the home. The event ends in disaster for Andrew when guests encourage him to ride an old-fashioned penny-farthing bike around the indoor pool. Of course, he rides right into the water, leaving Louis shaking his head in disgust. Their storyline is set to be continued next week.

The most uncomfortable part of the episode belongs to Roh. He gets a listing at 2130 24th Street in Potrero Hill. The sellers are a gay couple who are moving to a bigger home because they've adopted a daughter, leaving Roh to wrestle with the conservative beliefs about homosexuality that his background and religion dictate. He has a sort of awakening and accepts the couple for who they are, but this entire section of the episode is very forced and awkward.

The property itself is a three-bedroom condo situated on one of the last cobblestone streets in the city. It has a little garden surrounded by bamboo out back, and Roh wants to list it for $1.45 million. His broker friend who has introduced him to the sellers, however, pushes for $1.295 million, and they go along with his suggestion. At an open house, Roh tells all potential buyers that the place is going to go for way over asking, one of the first times that the show has reflected the frenzied reality of San Francisco's real estate climate. Justin shows up at the open house with a client and begins insulting the property, calling the kitchen cheap and pointing out the freeway noise that can be heard from inside. He and Roh get into a huge shouting match, leading to the episode's cliffhanger. Will they get in an actual fight in the middle of the open house? Only next week's episode will tell.

· Condo With Firepole at Ex-Firehouse Relists for $2.995M [Curbed SF]
· 2130 24th Street B [Estately]