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Recapping 'Million Dollar Listing San Francisco,' Episode Two

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We've made it clear from the beginning that we're into Million Dollar Listing for the properties, not the pretentiousness or the preening of the star agents. So this week's lack of real estate porn was a real let-down. As you might remember, during the premiere episode, only one of the three agents, Justin, actually sold the property that he had listed. The second episode picked back up with Roh and Andrew working on the same listings they'd been trying to sell during last week's episode, while Justin moved on to marketing an unfinished Mission flip.

Roh continues to push 285 San Anselmo in St. Francis Wood. He's forced to try new tactics and target a more traditional audience after his boss, Joel Goodrich, throws a fit over the break-dancing "bootie party" shown during the premiere. Suddenly, instead of talking about parties and tech commutes, Roh begins pointing out the home's crown moldings and fancy shrubbery. He also explains to buyers that "Most people are going to spend time matriculating with family and friends in the kitchen," after which he has to admit to the camera that he has no idea what the word "matriculate" actually means. The biggest drama in Roh's story line this week comes when a buyer is willing to cough up $6.2 million for the place but the seller's somewhat terrifying business manager says that she won't settle for anything under $6.3 million. Roh calls his buyers back and then waits anxiously as they consider the $6.3 million price. In the show, they agree to pay $6.3 million. In real life, the final sales price was $6.285 million. But hey, it's TV, and $6.3 million is a nice, even number.

Andrew is the least interesting and most off-putting character of the week. He's still trying to sell a big house out in Alamo along with his co-listing agent, Anton. They fight over the commission, Andrew acts sleazy, and the family that built the house as an investment decides not to sell after all and to move into the home. They do offer Andrew a consolation prize: He will get to sell both their next investment property and their current home. There's just one catch. Anton will be his co-listing agent again. Great, more forced fights between two unlikable characters are on their way.

Finally, there's Justin. Justin is the broker who draws most on the "rich techie" San Francisco stereotype, and he opens his portion of episode two by recounting the story of Mark Zuckerberg knocking on the door of a house in what Justin says is the Mission and offering to buy it on the spot for $10 million. Zuckerberg's house is really on Liberty Hill, not quite in the Mission, but the Mission sounds better. Justin is recounting the Zuckerberg story because the property he's selling this week is a flip in the Mission at 376 San Carlos Street that is right in the middle of renovations. There are no satisfying real estate shots in this portion of the show because the house is really nothing more than a pile of lumber. Justin promises to get the seller $3.25 million, and then boasts, "If I pull this off, I'll be the go-to broker in the Mission." Given that it's pretty easy to sell multimillion dollar flips in the Mission these days, we're not quite sure that's the case.

At any rate, Justin's tactic to market the under-construction home before it officially hits the market is to take prospective buyers on a walking tour of the Mission. His potential clients ask questions like, "Is there street art all over the Mission?" and "Are we in the center of the Mission right now?" Either they've just moved to San Francisco or they've never ventured into one of the city's most popular neighborhoods before. Either way, Justin gets a $2.9 million cash offer for the flip before it is finished and then convinces the flipper not to take the offer because he can definitely get $3.25 million once the place has been completed and staged. In real life, the house has been on the market for a little less than a month asking exactly that price. Here's hoping that we get to see it in its completed form on the show.

· Recapping the 'Million Dollar Listing' San Francisco Premiere [Curbed SF]
· Gigantic St. Francis Wood Stately Abode Lists for $6.85M [Curbed SF]
· 376 San Carlos Street [Redfin]