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On the Market: Extra Large Living in Pacific Heights

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Today we'll be discussing a certain monstrosity that has just hit the market with an asking price of $4,985,000. Now listen, we aren't the type of people who run around calling homes monstrosities, but let's be real here: if you're basically going to charge $5,000,000 bucks for a house, we expect it to be dashing and spectacular. Are we right? No flaws. So, the fact that the foyer (f you want to call it that) doesn't even have a damned coat closet, or that the master bathroom is windowless... it just ruffles our feathers that wrong way. And the Home Depot lighting in the dining room has forced us to take an Extra Strength Rapid Release Tylenol. Home Depot is fine and good, just not in a $4,985,000 house, for decor we mean. Let's talk stats. The house is 6,088 square feet of a lot of beige paint and "roomy" rooms, including 5-bedrooms and 5.5-bathrooms. The house is suppose to be an Edwardian, but it's been stripped of most of the distinct detailing that you associate with the style. Now it's all putty-colored and flat, fantastic. We can't fault the location, like being half a block from Alta Plaza Park. So perhaps this giant home would be a great score for a young, wealthy family that views Cheaper by the Dozen as an inspiring documentary that helped pave the way for their own family goals. The house sold for $4,700,000 back in 2005, so these sellers aren't wanting much on top of that, but in this market we aren't thinking it'll sell for its current asking price. Especially if you compare it to other similar and even less expensive listings within a two-block radius.
· 2846 Washington [Redfin]
· 2421 Pierce [Redfin]
· 3242 Washington [Redfin]