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Wanted: Mission Vigilante Squad

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SF Gate's Beth Spotswood has a posse, and she wants you to join the ranks. Those interested in taking Mission street violence into their own hands should assemble the following and report for duty forthright: "colorful bicycles with baskets in which to hold our weapons (cell phones, pepper spray, golf clubs, etc.) and snacks (trail mix, Chardonnay, watercress sandwiches, etc.)" Membership benefits include the right to park illegally, and deliver unbridled beat downs to "anyone who stirs out paranoid suspicions." (Or sprays anymore goddamned ironic graffiti, for that matter). We're in. [SF Gate]