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Cal Treesitter "Dumpster Muffin" Retires

Following in the footsteps of her esteemed colleague "Squirtle," Berkeley tree-sitter "Dumpster Muffin" gave up the good fight yesterday to join the rest of the earthbound. Cal's two-week war of attrition on the protesters leaves only three remaining now in the trees. Perched in the "God pod," the tree-sitters were denied a grandmother's love and all but four energy bars each and 10 gallons of water a day. The remaining sitters are expected to soldier on for at least another two weeks, when Cal's lawyers go to court again. [ABC 7]