The Under 500 Club is Curbed SF's exclusive members-only support group for those shoddy, poorly-staged homes (if at all!) languishing on the market for under $500,000. It's a sad state of affairs out there, San Francisco. All sad sacks and shitboxes should appeal to the Curbed SF inbox.
What: Let's start with the good news. 1018 Hollister Ave. looks respectable enough. This "1920's charmer" features wood floors, a garden deck, 1,755 sq ft, 2 baths and 4 bedrooms. 4 bedrooms! This place is ripe for an ambitious renovation.
Where: Bayview Heights (Bayview Heights)
How Much: $416,000
Note: Technically 2 of those 4 bedrooms are part of a first-level In Law. But hey — at this price, who needs to rent out half their house?
What: We have no interior photos by which to judge 131 Lowell St. Just a hazy camera phone photo and the promises of the listing. "BEST VALUE!! BEST VIEW OF THE CITY!! YOU BELONG IN THE CITY!!" 6 exclamation points in 3 sentences means they really want you to live in the city —albeit just barely. Deets: 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, and "almost new" kitchen appliances.
Where: Crocker Amazon
How Much: $449,900
Note: "You belong to the city / You belong to the night / Livin' in a river of darkness / Beneath the neon lights."
What: The listing says "Fully detached, 3 Bedroom, 1 bath, living room with fireplace," but the photo says empty lot. Apparently, there's a junior one bedroom single family home somewhere on the lot.
How Much: $300,000
Note: Sold "as is." At $300,000, no photos, 'as is' disclaimer be damned. Live a little. A little.