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Alarm and Protest: The Curbed Guide to the Olympic Torch Route

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How, pray tell, does one receive something with "alarm and protest" while still maintaining one's composure? Such is the task of the lucky city official (name T.B.A.) chosen to accept the Olympic torch on April 9th, according to the seven-page resolution issued by the city today; the missive condemns China across the board, demanding an international investigation into human rights violations— the whole nine. Oh yeah, and the city has also finally snapped to its senses and released the Olympic torch route. So here, dear readers, is the A.P.B. you've all been waiting for. We can do this, San Francisco.

THE ROUTE— Per the Chron: "The specific route flows along 3rd Street from McCovey Cove, down to the Embarcadero and past Fisherman's Wharf to Jefferson Street. From Jefferson, it will go left on Hyde Street and up a short distance to Beach Street, then to Polk Street near Aquatic Park. The next torch runner will head up Polk to Bay Street. The torch will then head back to the Embarcadero and stop in front of the Ferry Building at Justin Herman Plaza.
THE PROTEST ZONES—Ferry Building, Union Square, Portsmouth Square, Civic Center and Washington Square, and, of course the Embarcadero. These areas are designated for protest. Gav has warned dissidents that the Olympics "aren't about politics," but rather "the spirit of unity and the things that unite us." Bullshit: called. (Special P.C. bonus quote: "Please separate your condemnation from the person who's running (with the torch) or in a wheelchair carrying the torch." Subliminal reference to the city hall ramp debate: noted.)

CURBED SF SUGGESTS—The proper accoutrements: first and foremost, a bandana worn Zapatista style (neon colors are especially popular this season). Water bottle filled with H20 or other clear liquid of your choosing. Sunblock. Vintage Nike Prefontaine t-shirt, for the sports lovers. Goggles lifted from highschool chem lab in 1991. A Bullhorn. And, of course, your mf'ing iPhone.
· Long-awaited Olympic torch route announced; city leaders condemn China in statement [SF Gate]