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CurbedWire: Gyllenhaal-in-Noe Valley Rumor Debunked

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[Would Jake Gyllenhaal buy this house? Hell no, he wouldn't.]

Jake Gyllenhaal did not buy 1039 Noe Street. Repeat: JAKE GYLLENHAAL DID NOT BUY 1039 NOE STREET. This viciously delicious rumor has been spiraling out of control for months now— in fact, just yesterday another blog declared it true, only to mysteriously yank the post later in the day. As for us, we always felt it improbable— Jake Gyllenhaal in Noe Valley? Wrong, we tell you. Wrong! As our tipster, an RE insider, notes: "J.G. is notoriously private and security conscious. Strangely so, actually. So I'd be somewhat surprised that he would buy a house with no protection from the sidewalk and so forth. He lives in a heavily fortified estate in LA that he's wickedly weird about people knowing about." Yeah, see. We knew it. So who bought the place? Google Executives product managers Arielle Reinstein and Todd Jackson. Not as hott, but we guess they'll do.