On guard, Marina denizens: there's a predator among you. Word has it that an "ailing" bat was captured at the corner of Mallorca Way and Beach Street over the weekend— and that said blind, deaf creature was, in fact, rabid. Mass pandemonium ensued as local revelers panicked, flailing Coach shopping totes and Diesel man bags alike in a spectacularly choreographed fight for their lives. Local authorities suggest increasing the amount of one's bleached highlights and/or use of high-gloss hair product as a means of deflecting future attacks.
· Rabid bat prompts warning [SF Examiner]