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Disturb Appeal: 430-432 Fair Oaks Street

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430-432 Fair Oaks Street, in Noe Valley, may have escaped our notice but for the slightly dilapidated exterior teaming with the leaded/stained glass windows and daunting stature to evoke a sort of "haunted house" effect. It is late October, after all. It just looms over passers-by— the duplex's total 3,175 square feet are yours for $1,698,000, or about $535 per. The breakdown of the units: 3 beds, 2 baths in the upper floor; two bed, one bath on the lower floor. It's got a garage that can fit two cars side-by-side. The pitch on MLS and Coldwell's site boasts "fireplace, skylights,hardwood floors & a deck off the master bedroom"— so the bones are definitely there. There are also claims of a "breath-taking VIEW of the Bay, UC campus in Berkeley." Which is also fantastic— but perhaps the sellers need to put their gazes a little closer to home.

As we said, there's some obvious dilapidation— paint peeling off the trim, a decided lack of greenery, some loose chains for a non-existent sign handing off the front stoop, and more. You need only compare it to the place next door, and indeed it seems like a lifeless zombie of a place, yearning to eat the brains of its neighbors. Those are easy fixes, though. More disturbing is what we're pretty sure is a sewer drainage pipe coming directly down the staircase. A fresh coat of paint and a little cleaning could do wonders; the specter of the pipe, however, may not be so easy to exorcise.
· 430-432 Fair Oaks St. [MLS]
· 430-432 Fair Oaks St. [Coldwell Banker]